I Love You All the Way From Hell and Back
by Sydney.State.Of.Mind
Summary: ON HIATUS Forever is a long time to spend in hell. Let Inuyasha be happy, I want that. But, I want to be happy too.
1. Spontaneuous Combustion

**Sora: I am planning this on being a short chapter drabble series. I sincerely have no idea how this is going to go. So read and enjoy!**

Hell is boring as, well hell.

I know I made the right decisions; okay, not all the time. But, I feel like I really tried my best, did my best. Under the circumstances that is.

The plain truth remains however, I died thinking my love had betrayed me, and bitter because my life had been taken up by the vile and impure Shikon Jewel. Yay.

And then I got to come back to life. Yay?

I got to see my love again. Yay!

But, I could tell, he was in love with my reincarnation. Yay…

So, then later after much pain and suffering on my part, I got to die again. Double yay.

I know what you are thinking, wellllllll, she deserved it. But, did I? Did I _really?_

Now, I'll tell you something else I know. You think, well, she can't be in _too_ much pain, because she sounds pretty dang chipper. This may come as a surprise to you, but I am a good actress. And now, since I get to sit in the cozy furnace of Hell forever, without true love or any of those fantastic things that are supposed to happen to you in life, I find that instead of breaking down and crying my eyes out all the time, it is better to pretend my life is a comedy. This is rather ironic, because before it came to be known as funny, a comedy just meant that it had a happy ending.

That's something I'm willing to pretend that I had.

I won't lie to you either; I wish that I was in Kagome's place. This in fact is not an unusual feeling for people, it is usually labeled: "jealousy", "envy", or "the green-eyed monster". Use which ever strikes your fancy.

I don't hate her though, my reincarnation that is. I can't find it in my heart, and yes, I _do_ have a heart. But, perhaps it was just made a few sizes to small. Oh wait, I think I am mixing that up with another green-colored monster.

I am glad that Inuyasha had found someone to truly love him, unconditionally, irrevocably, and someone who doesn't hold back on putting him in his place. I sigh, I guess I could never have loved him enough, as a hanyou—

Wait a second! Yes I could have, I could have loved him just as well damnit! All I needed was some time, I had been taught to see the world one way for so long that I hadn't been given the proper time to adjust!

But, he wanted her…And I want him to have whatever he wants. I just wish he would've wanted me the most. I am sure that the exact same thoughts ran through Kagome's mind whenever he would run off to come see me. So I guess we are more alike than different, she _is_ my reincarnation.

How overjoyed and guilty I felt during those visits. He had kissed me, held me in his arms once again, and even promised to come down here with me! Hey, at least it isn't cold here. Like taking a depressing vacation.

But, I felt like the devious mistress, hiding behind closed doors, trying to avoid the loving and devoted wife that he kept at home. I shouldn't have had to feel that way, I was first! …first the worst, second the best. Oh woe is me.

Maybe I don't have a heart. Maybe when it cracked so thoroughly in two the first time little spider web cracks had weaved its way through it. So, when my heart broke again, it just spontaneously combusted…this actually happens, I kid you not. All that is left of you is about ten pounds of ashes and an occasional bone, or if you're lucky an arm or a leg.

Ooh, too morbid? Sorry. Hell does that to a person.

Well, maybe I have a "leg" of my heart left. I guess that will be enough to keep me afloat for now.

But, forever is a long time to spend in hell.

Does it have to be forever? Well, my sources say yes, but the leg of my heart says no.

Let Inuyasha be happy, I want that. But, I want to be happy too.

**Sora: If you hadn't figured it out, this is about Kikyo. I actually have always liked her :) Anyway, I usually write more depressing things if I write anything with heart break. So please tell me if you like the humor angle or if it is too OC and I can rewrite this chapter in a more serious manner. Although! I plan on having some serious parts too!**

**Please, please, please review!**


	2. Does time mean anything to me?

**Sora: Wah! No one reviewed! Oh well, I got some hits and even some visitors! I'm happy with that, I know I just need to write more, because it's Kikyo and she definitely doesn't have as big a fan base as let's say InuyashaXkagome (even though that's the best pairing!). Just to warn you the chapter lengths won't be very long, that's what I meant before, not a short story!**

**Now here we go, oh and I don't own Inuyasha!**

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I sigh as I prop my feet up on a chunk of rock. This is the life, isn't it? Well technically, the _after_life. I never got to relax like this when I was alive; and when I was resurrected I was fairly busy with Naraku, Inuyasha, my reincarnation, — fine, _Kagome_— Naraku's reincarnations, Inuyasha, various unnamed busybodies who would accuse me of being an evil spirit; oh, and of course Inuyasha. Not that he was a big part of my life or anything.

Why do I get the feeling that I'm in denial?

I look around and am once again horrified by my surroundings; then again, I am in the bad part of town.

Maybe that's where I go when a girl wants to feel a little dirty. And I what I mean by that is covered in filth; like, you know, dirt? This part of town could really do with a big scrub down.

No seriously, I'm not talking about anything nasty. You're still taking that way, huh? I was a priestess you know, I may be acting like a hung-over monk, but I still have some morals. Although, it's not like you really need them down here. I guess I'll try and hold on to them, not let myself go.

Could be hard though.

I flick my hair over my shoulder and raise myself gracefully off the ground; even in this cesspool I still have that. The hair and grace I was so proud of. My mother used to brush it before bedtime; combing her gentle fingers though the ebony locks, humming softly, just loud enough for us both to hear.

At night she would tell me stories of dashing princes and brave, beautiful priestesses; often they would have to work together to defeat some sort of terrible demon and in the end they would fall in love and live happily ever after. Sort of. I had always been a stubborn child, they could never quite have a perfect ending, but to me it would always be perfectly imperfect, just like life. And yet here I was, baking in the depths of hell, while Kagome walking around with my perfectly imperfect fairytale.

I rub my eyes, chafing the skin. I can feel the corners of my mouth to be dry and cracked; the hair I was so proud of is knotted and greasy. The creases underneath my eyes hold in them hairline cuts, all due to my excessive rubbing.

I walk along the barren streets, I can't remember the last time I had seen another being down here. I knew there were others, multitudes of others. But the souls of the guilty and grieving avoided each other like the plague. The last woman I had seen told me this was normal behavior for the newly dead. Those who were not guilty would let themselves go for a little while, until they were ready to accept their death and move on with their afterlife. She had said from looking at me that I was not guilty.

I felt guilty.

Hadn't I done so much wrong, and so much right? Hadn't I almost destroyed lives, yet hadn't I been trying to save them? Hadn't I been selfish, yet hadn't I been first?

The lady had said I would unravel my problems over time.

I surely had plenty of that.

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**Sora: Thanks to anyone reading and I am going to stick to the humor undertones, I know it's not laugh out loud funny, but most efforts at funny for me end up failing. Unless it's a witty retort :P**


	3. My Heart Bleeds for You

**Sora: Next chapter!**

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I walk through the abandoned streets with a heavy heart; I feel like I should stop pitying myself and work on being happy down here. I don't know if that's possible, but like they always say, it doesn't hurt to try, right? Wrong, if you jump off a cliff in order to "try" and fly, it'll hurt when you hit the bottom. Believe me, I've fallen off a cliff before, and it wasn't a small one either.

But, for some reason, it may start with the letter I and end with nuyasha, I just can't move on. I am like a stone deeply embedded in the river floor, immoveable and stuck, causing all the water to ripple and become disrupted around it.

…I can almost hear the tiny the world's smallest record player, playing "My Heart Bleeds for You" in the background.

What happened to the amazing, tough priestess who soothed the wild demon and protected the Sacred Jewel from all kinds of evil?

Oh ya, she's right here, wallowing in self pity.

A spike of self loathing stabbed through my heart, I didn't want to be this. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I didn't want to be floundering in this sea of emotion anymore. I didn't want to be broken anymore!

I dust off my priestess robes again, although this time it was with slightly more vigor. I walk with swift movements in the direction of the better half of town, or at least I had always assumed it was better since whenever I wandered that direction the buildings had seemed to grow nicer in the distance.

Not that before today I had ever even had the slightest motivation to go there. I was suffering internally; therefore my environment should reflect that. I would have been nauseated to have been in a cheerful place, with cheerful dead people, cheerfully hanging out with their forever buddies, friends, and family for the rest of eternity.

I strode, quite confidently I might, in the direction of what I was searching. As I walked I thought quiet, yet strong motivational thoughts that really should be put together into a book, and sold for $12.99 to others who are going through my situation. Brilliant! With my mind desperately distract itself I didn't pay attention to where I was going. I tripped over a small rock, it wasn't small it was tiny, _tiny _I tell you, how pathetic…

Just as a small stone brought down Goliath, this small rock brought me down. Down to the ground.

I looked to my elbow which was now bleeding profusely, was I still made of flesh and blood? How could I be bleeding if I was dead? I didn't ponder it any longer, because I sob tore its way out of my chest, and before I could stop, I was sobbing. This whole time I hadn't cried once, crying would mean that I was giving up. But, maybe this was what I needed, to cleanse my heart and mind of the past, so that I could move on with the future.

And with that thought I let my weeping take over, and emptying my mind of everything else, not watching as I turned the thin layer of dirt on my face into mud. At least my skin will be baby soft.

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**Sora: Thank you so much to the two wonderful people who reviewed! I was honestly very surprised, because I thought with Kikyo I would have to write a million chapters before anyone would review, so now I am so excited!**

**And to anyone who knows the tiny, record player joke: congrats you're awesome :))**

**I haven't been able to update this chapter in awhile because of the error with FanFiction! However Mangascribbler let me know how to and that's how I got this chapter up! Three cheers for her! For anybody that needs to know how to get around the error, here's how: when the error page pops up look at the URL and change "property" to "content" and it will let you keep updating your story! No news on how to post a new story though... If anybody knows please tell me!**

**Thanks all!**

**Next chapter will be up ASAP!**


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